When homeowners tell me that their children don’t want them to move, “My kids don’t want me to sell the family home” — I always pause and acknowledge the weight of that statement. The phrase holds layers of attachment, memory, worry, and meaning.
As someone who’s guided many families through this kind of transition, I’ve seen how deep the roots go.
Your children grew up in that house. It’s the place where first steps were taken, where birthday candles were blown out, where friends came over, where the garden was tended and the laughter echoed. To your kids, it’s more than bricks and mortar, it’s part of their story.
So when you’re talking about downsizing or selling, it’s not just a real-estate decision: it’s a personal one, wrapped in emotional threads. But what I’ve learned is this: while the children’s feelings matter, your well-being matters more.
They don’t live there every day. They’re not climbing the stairs, paying the utilities, mowing the yard, keeping the roof in repair or juggling the bills. You are. And that reality shapes things.
Why This Is Your Decision
When I say “this is your decision,” I mean it with full respect for the past, and for your role in writing what comes next. The home you’ve owned, the memories you’ve built, they’re real, and they matter. Yet the decision to stay or go is yours. You live the daily reality of the home. You know the maintenance, the space or maybe the lack of it and you know what you want for the next chapter of your life.
How I Help Families Through It
Here’s how our team approaches the conversation:
1. Include your children in the conversation. Invite them in, help them understand why you’re considering a move. What are the practical reasons, maintenance, finances, accessibility, freedom to travel, or simplifying life? When children see that this is a proactive choice and not a surrender, their resistance often softens. Indeed, once adult children see the options, the amenities, the new community, the lifestyle you could gain they often shift from reluctant to advocates.
2. Preserve what matters. We also don’t walk away from the past. We honour the memories: photographing the home, selecting meaningful items to pass along, facilitating goodbyes that feel respectful. That way, the story stays alive, even as the house changes.
Your children want you to be happy, healthy, and safe. They may struggle to see that moving accomplishes all of those, but that’s where we come in: helping everyone see how it does.
In Closing
If you’re thinking about downsizing, and you hear your kids say “Please don’t move,” remember: this isn’t about pitting your wishes against theirs. It’s about aligning your future goals with their sense of security and attachment. With empathy, transparency, and clear guidance, the move from family home to next home can become a shared journey instead of a solo decision.
